Pretty much every time I have
When I see advertisements put out by the big moisturizing complex the end user always looks ecstatic over the endeavor. Meanwhile I just feel a bit bitter. (Dear Epidermis, I've already washed and shaved [most of] you. What the fuck more do you want from me?!?)
I've tried to make the task as palatable as I can create it. I've
|Sunday @ Nana & Papa's|
You never reeeeally know how bad you are at lotioning until you take off black leggings. #ItPutsTheLotionOnItsSkin #Opps #GettingHoseAgain
— BBG (@TheBigBrownGirl) December 19, 2014
Bonus BBGConfession: Occasionally on a Sunday evening I'll find myself wondering if I lived close to Nana if she'd be willing to bring back our Sunday ritual?
I adhere to a fairly strict If It's Seen Routine, eliminating any unnecessary lotioning efforts. (Dear Skin, Sorry to be a pest, but seriously? Everything swimsuit covered? It's doin' fine on a live and let live basis. Why are your limb-y areas so fucking needy?) Unless money and/or cotton candy falling from the sky as a reward for lotioning is something I can arrange I don't know what more I can do to make it a better experience for me.
...And yet the other day I caught myself bein' momentarily mad at my vagina for being self lubricating while this skin had the nerve to make me do all the work. Ugh. Once I took the step to imagine how that'd work (if flip flopped) I decided that all-in-all the current arrangement was probably for the best.