Be who you is, is not to be confused with the more
The difference between the two is both as narrow and as wide as the chasm betwixt mother fuckin' cocksucker and cocksuckin' mother fucker. Upon first inspection negligible, upon second enormous.
Between being yourself and being who you is, bein' who you is infinitely the better option.
How do I know?
Answer: The John Daly Theory
I have a theory. Fine I have many of them. (None of the conspiratorial variety) This one I call the John Daly Theory (JDT). JDT is applicable to all of our everyday lives, but numerous public scandals bear out its veracity in more splashy ways. The scandal du jour is a perfect example--
The admitted child diddler and
He's the latest in the long ass list of people who would benefit from understanding the JDT.
Now I'm a golf watching enthusiast from way back. (It's not important that you be a fan of the sticks to grasp the theory. Trust me. You already know enough to keep up.)
If you're unfamiliar here's a wee primer on John Daly. This is John Daly:
|Circa: A long ass time ago.|
These are things John Daly has said:
"My wife tried to stab me."
"I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein."
“I tried but every time I worked out I threw up, and I thought to myself that you can get drunk and throw up, so it's just not for me."
|The two time major winner makes some badass golf pants|
(...Now that everyone's up to speed on John Daly...)
I discovered the JDT when Tiger Woods was in the midst of his skanky sex scandal several years ago. As the list of floozy's lined up for a whirl at their fifteen minutes grew longer so did Tiger's fall from grace. Prior to his proclivities bein' public fodder he'd been (to most) considered a consummate golden boy. (Sidebar: Once upon a time I knew someone on the periphery of Tiger's sphere, subsequently I never thought he was as squeaky clean cut as his image was being crafted. To say I had specific knowledge of cheater would be a lie, but as the
The backbone of the JDT is that when one cultivates an image of being X, people fuckin' expect ya to be, in fact, X. Not to besmirch the esteemed Mr. Daly, but had the headlines instead screamed; 'Daly's Decadent Dalliances' the public reaction would have been less severe. Why? Well. Even if you didn't have a clue that a John Daly existed until now, based on the 3 things you've just found out about him-- would doin' every Waffle House waitress on the eastern seaboard come as an astounding surprise? Nope. You'd shrug such a finding off with something along the lines of, yeah that seems right. (
Had Josh Duggar possessed the inner fortitude to be forthright with the world about who he is, as opposed to polishing up his image as an example of the modern day Christian soldier standard bearer he wouldn't have to be apologizing for (in his words) being the "biggest hypocrite ever".
JDT offers the perfect example of the benefits setting the expectation. The importance of bein' who you is draws hefty dividends when one doesn't have to embark on an apology tour over livin' their authentic life. It's a lesson most of us would be better for by embracing.
cc: America's favorite
A Guide To Being Who You Is:
- Don't use bein' who you is as an excuse to be a dick. Nobody likes a straight up jerk. Nobody.
- Do recognize the difference between who you'd like to be and who the fuck you are.
- Act accordingly. Don't lead people to believe you are significantly better than you are.
- You don't have to wear a sandwich board chronicling your top 10 shittiest traits but...
- Ya do have to drop enough bread crumbs about the authentic you so that others aren't blindsided by the results of you being the authentic you.
Related: What Did You Expect? It Makes A Difference (New York Times) -- the science of setting expectations; "The downside is that when our expectations are not met our negative feelings are much stronger"