Thursday, August 2, 2012

~My Big Fat Gay Manifesto

The number of things I 'don't get' in life is staggering. The volume of things my lil' simple ol' BBG brain is incapable of comprehending is, admittedly like Pi, never ending...
  • How my local McDonald's could report that they are "out of Coke" as I make my order?  Isn't that like the hospital sayin' they're outta band aids, or the atmosphere reporting it's out of air?
  • Why my weatherman would use the phrase, "a cold front moving in", when the same breath he's also telling me that during this "cold front" movement it's going to be 96 degrees?
  • How I can't seem to talk myself into having the cereal I really (reeeeeally) want at midnight: 15 because the date on the carton ended at 11:59pm?  I'm fairly sure it didn't go bad in 16 minutes.  But my mind refuses to listen to that logic.

The current super stymieing subject at the top of the BBG 'Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? List', is the the level of gay intolerance, and the absolute straight up pride people are exhibiting in their intolerance.

Obviously, the only reasonable response to those who oppose gay marriage, (although I'm loathe to use the term, 'gay marriage', I mean, ain't it just marriage? Gay's don't 'gay pay' their bills, or 'gay put on their shoes', ya know?) that when it comes to deciding who you should marry, by all means do not marry someone of the same sex.

(It ain't magic. Just common sense.)

Of course, being the 'reasonable response' doesn't preclude bigots and hypocrites some people from holding firm on their discriminatory stance on the matter.

Most of the time I try to be cognizant of the feelings and viewpoints of others. Generally, I feel everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Even when I think they're wrong. Probably because even when I think I'm right I always try to keep the door open that I could be wrong. I'm open to receiving new information, looking at issues from different angles and reassessing my viewpoints. It just seems like the prudent thing to do. I mean, throughout all of history people have thought themselves right, with every fiber of their being, only to be proven completely, dead-ass, fucking wrong.

In different eras prevailing wisdom and conventional thinking once dictated that people accepted that the world was flat, smoking was healthy, and that it was purrrrrrfectly civilized and proper to not allow the guy you worked beside to eat at the same lunch counter simply because of the color of his skin.

Throughout history, at times it's been the cultural norm to believe women did not have the brain power to handle heady concepts, like voting. That cocaine was good for practically anything that ailed ya, and that Catholics were out to take over the world with their general abundance of children which now we know is really being carried out by the Duggars.

...All concepts and beliefs that anyone living in those times would have found that many, if not most of their peers also treated as gospel. Underscoring that simply finding comfort in like minded individuals is not synonymous with being right about an issue. 

Looking at those subjects through our 2012 prism, it's easy to recognize that they have proven to be ridiculous and wrong. (New word alert: Ridicuwrong) They are cautionary examples to us today of how allowing oneself to be mired down in beliefs and opinions can create a mindset that causes people to ignore facts. Realities like: It's wrong to use any beliefs or reasoning to prohibit other law abiding citizens from fully benefiting from rights granted to you and me. Regardless of your reasoning or justifications.

(Denying any American rights given to other Americans: Wrong then. Wrong now.)

And these are the facts:

If you are still holding on to negative beliefs, stereotypes and prejudices about gays, you are wrong and it's time to start letting go of your antiquated thinking.

Homosexuality is not some new fangled 21st century invention. Another lil' sumthin'-sumthin' that's been with us since the waaaaay back in the day? Answer:  Bigotry. In my opinion it's one of our worst traits as humans. It's a trait that has allowed people to belittle, demean, enslave and attempt to actually extinguish other humans throughout time because of some perceived or real difference. And in every single instance the people doing the discrimination had a quote good reason unquote. Some mantra to back their stance. Loads of cronies to rub elbows with who felt the same and cheered them on. But guess what? That didn't make any of them right, or righteous. It made them stubborn.  And eventually, laughing stocks skewered by history for their inability to overcome a mindset that others recognized as being ridiculous and unjust far earlier. 

In many (but not enough) ways we've overcome our bigotry and granted civil rights to those who have been oppressed. I, in today's world, as a brown girl can walk into any restaurant and be seated, and cast my vote in any election. And while I haven't traveled the world first hand, I know that if/when I do, it will be in a circle and I won't actually be in danger of falling off of it.  Yet we still allow our fellow citizens to be denied the rights that straights are afforded by simply being born in America.

It's unfathomable that anyone would deny the rights of someone else based solely on who someone has sex with and who they love.


Of course for many, particularly of a religious ilk, this is (say it with me)... an abomination. You know, as spelled out in Leviticus; "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." Being wise and adherent bible scholars, many believe that this is a rule that at all cost must be upheld, lest their eternal souls and the souls of every NASCAR driver and every cute kitten be banished straight to hell where they will endure daily ass fuckings by Lucifer himself. Or sumthin' like that... Of course, every other thing listed in the same passage seems to be discretionary to, um, 100% of people who hold on so tightly to that one sentence.

Leviticus also outlines that the following are abominations:
(Click links below for the actual Bible passages addressing these items)

...I'm sorry, when's the last time you decided your bacon eatin'
hetro friend couldn't marry who s/he loved because they were
an abomination before the Lord?
(cough... Hypocrite!)

With so many folks use religion as their rationale for their anti-gay stance. I think it's important to be on the same page about what we're talkin' about; God-- who "makes no mistakes", who wants his children to experience his greatest gift which is love, who made sex pleasurable so that we'd enjoy it-- God who wants us not to cast the first stone and to be good to one another, to treat others as our brothers and sisters... wants you to be rude, dismissive, disrespectful and hateful towards some of his other children because of who they love?

Really? I can't be the only one who sees the irony there, right? The complete disconnect between the tolerant, inclusive, positive ideal of all religions, and bigotry and intolerance people will chose to embrace in the name of religion?

(Sad and true.)

Other folks cite the 'ick factor' for their case of gay heeby-jeebies. You know those folks, the "I don't see how 'they' could do that" contingent. (Please note: Seeing a same sex couple is not a recruitment ad for you to go homosexual. If you find the thought of a person with the same bits and pieces as you a turnoff, again, Harry Potter and I recommend that you don't date people with the same bits and pieces as you.)

And really now, "do what"? Express their affection and desire for one another? (I don't understand how people can use nipple clips or cock rings, but they do. Seems like a bad and painful plan, but it doesn't ick me out. While I'm not a good candidate to lead the Nipple Clip & Cock Ring Users of America - Ohio Chapter, I certainly won't begrudge and try to take away their right to marry their favorite fellow NC&CR member.) Can't different just be different, and not bad or wrong? Can't people just be allowed to live their lives as long as it's not hurting you howthefuckever they want to?

Personally, I couldn't give a fuck who's doin' what, with who (whom?  --My sincerest apologies to every one of my English teachers) in their bedroom. It impacts my life a grand total of zero. (FYI: I also don't spend any time thinking about what Asians are up to in their bedrooms. Or what the blind are doing once they close the boudoir door although it does seem like the blind should probably avoid obstacles and hazards and leave the door open. It's a non-factor.) The only effort I have to put into thinkin' about bedroom activities are when it involves my bedroom.

I would suggest if you find yourself concerned about what any other two grownups are doing with their sex lives that you find a hobby. Immediately. (For the official record:  Protesting at your local Pride parade or military funeral is not a "hobby".)

Mostly, I don't care what homosexuals are doing behind closed doors because it's none of my damn business. And I don't know about you, but I've got my hands full with shit that is legitimately my 'bidness, where would I find the time and energy to get invested in someone, anyone else's?

The time to acknowledge that gay just is, that it's not good or bad, it's simply something you are, or what you aren't-- is here. The time to get on board is now. ...Or be the last holdout to a notion that is quickly (although not quickly enough) going the way of the do-do bird and dinosaurs.

It seems with all of the Chick Fil A hub bub of late (click for story) many proponents of keeping marriage straight, proudly flocked to gobble up chicken in a show of support of the company's position, although many are framing it as standing up for the CEO's right to free speech and insinuating it's a 1st Amendment issue.  (I suppose that's more palatable than fessin' up that, "I'm eatin' chicken to make sure second class citizens know their place"??)  Which strikes me as odd as no one denies that he has every right to say whatever he wants (except to yell "fire" in a theater).  He has every right to run his company exactly as he see fit.  And to practice his religion exactly as his conscience leads him.
However, much like the Klan has a right to say what it wants, to pervert Christianity as they see fit, it doesn't mean they can do so in a vacuum, without public ramifications.  Amazingly, evolved people, loving people, reasonable people are going to be pissed the fuck off take issue with it.   Likewise, it would seem the 1st Amendment argument gets very flimsy when one considers that municipalities frequently prohibit businesses they feel are not in keeping with the community culture out of their backyards (example:  porn stores), and that no one is denying him/them the ability to practice their religion.  (Wait.  Is business a religion?  Religion a business?)

For all of the passionate feelings and opinions on the matter of gays being allowed to marry, one of the most heartfelt and compelling points was made last night by a friend of mine through her Facebook status update:
"ATTENTION ...this is me getting on my soap box...

I support the 1st amendment and the freedom of religion. I may not agree with certain positions, but that is MY right.

However, Chic Fil A has donated over 2 million to politically based organizations that are fighting to deny me and my family and thousands like us, our basic rights. Live your life and do as you will, let me live mine in peace.
I am the person, that should I die, my kids who are not biologically mine will not stand to receive my SS benefits. They will have to pay additional inheritance taxes. I pay more in taxes then my hetero counterparts. I have even been told that I need my wife's written permission to bring OUR kids to the doctor, regardless if they were on my insurance. I can not apply for a mortgage on the house as a spouse, nor apply for any leases or loans without some additional fees because our marriage is not recognized.

To my friends who proudly boasted their Chic-Fil-A pictures today, please know this. Your money did not go to free speech or religious went into the funding of organizations that will fight to the death to ensure I can never give my children the stability that so many of you take for granted."


Imagine being living in a land where the pursuit of happiness and justice for all is guaranteed to everyone. Well, everyone who isn't gay.  ...Oh, wait.  Unfortunately, there's no need to imagine.  There's only a need to get past it:

Related Read:  Pride 



Anonymous said...

Long & worth it! This post gives me hope that ALL people of faith aren't crazy, bigoted, zealots. Thank you for your attitude, terrific post!!!!

Cathy R said...

Seriously? I'm proud to be your friend. Well said!

Anonymous said...

Honestly, I'm so sick of this topic, but I will weigh in here (because I haven't anywhere else). I don't care who sleeps with who. I have too many of my own damn problems to worry about what you're doing.

I love chicken. I love Chik-Fil-A. I believe in the 1st Amendment right to say what you please and to believe what you please.

Generations of young men and women have died to give us that right.

There. That's my belief.

Now, let's flip this around. If the 90 year old owner of Chik-Fil-A came out and said he believes in gay marriage (sorry, don't know what else to call it in this context) and all the religious folk were up in arms, you better believe the gay community would be screaming 1st Amendment. So, why is it now suddenly wrong to scream it?

Like I said. I don't care one way or another who you marry or who you have sex with. I'm just saying that there seems to be a bit of hypocrisy going on. On both sides.

BigBrownGirl said...

@Anonymous~ Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate the compliment. Swing in anytime.

@CathyR~ Awwwww shucks. That actually means a lot, and may or may not have made a drop of H2O gather in my peepers.

@PF3~ First, thanks for makin' the BBGWorld the place you elected to break your silence. Even when we don't agree I always enjoy our discussions!

In this case we agree on *most* things:

~ I don't love chicken. Due to that, Chick Fil A was never my kinda place. Especially as I despise waffle fries. I donno. ...Don't ask. :-(

~ I fully and 100% believe everyone has a right to espouse their beliefs, whatever they are. (And yes, even when I don't agree with them, not even one lil' bit.) God Bless the U.S.A! :-)

~ I, obviously agree with you that any damn grown up who finds another damn grown up who ring-a-ding-dings their bell should be free to sex it up and marry anyone of their choosing.

~ Other than poultry and waffle fries, where we disagree is with the point you make about the reverse situation example, and it being hypocritical. Your assertion is like saying; won't the kids be up in arms when everyone gets candy in the class?!? Of coursefuckingnot. The only time the some kids will be mad is when they don't get candy (you and I by being straights automatically are granted the candy/ability to marry anyone we want to). When only the popular and cooooool kidz (or otherwise deemed worthy kids/straights) get candy (ability to marry and all of the rights and responsibilities that come with that). *That's* the unfair thing about the candy distribution. ...Or in this case the owner excluding the validity of the rights of a segment of our society to partake in what you and me take for granted. While you're welcome to not agree with me, it's not hypocritical because it's not leaving anyone out. (It's not do as I say, not as I do mentality. It's every body gets to do because every body gets to do. = Fair and just.) Kids who, for whatever reason still don't like the fact that ALL of the kids get candy can give theirs the fuck away or throw it in the trash. (Religious folks, per your example can simply chose, as Harry advises, not to marry another wo/man. Problem solved. It's their prerogative [Bobby Brown shout out!] to still not like it, but "not liking it" just isn't a good enough reason to keep a right out of the hands of another citizen.) Once they've been granted the right to candy it's theirs to do with it what they please. It's the denial of the what everyone should be entitled to part that is the problem with this scenario. :-(

As always, thanks for stoppin' by and commenting!! (And Haaaaappy Food Truck-ing to you. <--I'm jealous)


Anonymous said...

You lost me with the whole candy thing. LOL. All I'm saying is that it's his right to say what he believes and it's his right to believe that.

Just like it's someone's right to boycott his business or not boycott. But don't get all up in my face because I'm not boycotting, and pushing your beliefs on me (hypothetical here. "Me" and "you" being the public not you and I specifically.)

It just irritates me when people get all angry because I don't believe what they believe. That's all I'm saying.

Respect me and my belief and I'll respect you and yours.

LB2 said...

Here's a twist...I do believe that marriage should be allowed for ANY two people in love and who are willing to work at making the sanctity of marriage valued and be an everlasting union. Notice I said TWO people, I am personally (just me folks) against polygamy. But...although I didnt GO to the Chick Fil A yesterday...had I, it would in fact ONLY had been to gobble the deelish waffle fries, announce I do support marriage between ALL couples, and (gotta cast it out there) to that I support freedom of speech. There throwin a monkey wrench all around! And why...say what ya like, but in the infamous words of our BBG...JUST BE IN CHARGE OF YOU!!! Well done my BFFBBG...regardless of agreein or disagreein, I stand firm on the fact that I LOVE you, therefore I respect any opinion, chice, banter, or belief you hold in high regard!

jamiesmiles said...

Not to be lazy, but I could not come close to the eloquent and heartfelt explanation.

Anon2, perhaps this will explain the "hypocrisy" you feel is coming from both sides. Forgive me BBG for pimping another's blog, but I think you will apprecate it.

Anonymous said...

A friend rave d about this and made me promise to read it. I thought he was overselling it. He was not. Wonderful post. I wish more people took the same reasonable approach.

Kevin Routh said...

What a great post! I'm glad you are back to blogging. I missed reading this blog. :)

BigBrownGirl said...

@LB2'd~ I know you support civil rights for all, & that you are in charge of you, but I suspect that if someone told you Roger was in part being kept from his rights by a waffle fry, you'd never eat another one. I suspect if I was gay, or if the CEO had said, 'I contribute millions to the KKK', or the Anti-BBG Brigade, you'd have a new favorite fry in a heartbeat. I have mixed feelings about the effectiveness of a boycot, but I know that I am unwilling to contribute to something that actively works to keep people down, but that's just me and how I chose to run my life. As ALWAYS you too have my love! (Smooches to my children!)

@Jamie~ Thanks for the share, that was an excellent post. Very well stated (and far less curse-y than mine)

@Anonymous~ Whew!! I'm glad it wasn't a disappointment! Feel free to share & stop by to peep in the BBG window any ol' time.

@Kevin~ Thanks! Thanks! And thanks! (I'm glad I wasn't the only one with a case of blogbegoneitus. It's good to be back. Good to have you back too!)

Shades of Grey said...

To be fair, a lot of the anti-gay marriage psychos appear to be the same people who keep implying/hinting at/saying in a roundabout way that Barack Obama is destroying this country simply by being black. So there's that.

Anonymous said...

I haven't enjoyed a read on the subject as much ever!

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