Which, of course is reeeefuckingdiculous. Likely, without hyperbole, Officially The Most Ridiculous Thing Spoken By A Human On This Day.
My problem with nurses? Nothin'. Don't have one. Think they're awesome and frequently credit them as bein' the folks who keep doctors from killin' ya.
|Note my hand awkwardly hiding my sandwich.|
Even tipsy I knew it was wrong to still be able to
enjoy my post glug-glug/soak up the suds nosh.
But as you can see this self realization did not
keep me from giggilin' about it.
I'm physically strong. I'm usually easily able to explain, and have conversations about tough things to/with people. I have the temperament to care about people, yet not get invested and attached. And I'm usually trying to assess situations down range while managing the right in front of your faceness. It might be surprising to some, but for as flaky, spontaneous, and fly by the seat of my pants-y as I tend to run, I'm generally pretty pragmatic, calm and all about TCB in emergency situations. Hell, I even keep latex gloves, a tourniquet, some chucks (absorbent pads) and a couple of masks in the BBGmobile. But really, that's just about being situationally prepared. (In fairness, I also carry, flares, a flashlight and zip ties
It's nice to know that Nana recognizes those traits in me.
What Nana fails to acknowledge are a few of my other traits, like;
- I cannot fathom a scenario where at some point I wouldn't find myself in a hospital hallway having just smacked a family member.
And that I'm not the sort likely to do well in jail, where after such a smack down I would surely land.
- Nurses don't wear skirts and dresses anymore. It's all scrub/uniform pants. And you know who looks good in scrub pants? Men and small framed chicks who can still manage to look good in a potato sack. Alas, I am neither. I would be miserable sportin' pants on a daily basis.
- I'm a terrible test taker/studier. I have a great memory for things I never really had any intention of remembering, trivia, factoids, random minutiae, but things I'm told to remember? Well, somehow I'm wired so that those go to some other brain-y place where it's super pressure-y to access. Made all the more helpful by the fact that where scholarly details need to be able to stick is seemingly as slippery as a surface sprayed liberally with Pam. None of which bodes well for someone required to pass State Boards 'n such.
- At a certain point, I would consider, 'you need to get the fuck up' a reasonable request of a patient who won't get out of bed to start walking and moving around.
A lil' sumthin'-sumthin' I wondered why no one said to a one time hospital roommate who refused to get up post surgery, as for days they [doctors, nurses, family] ]kept tryin', "now, sweetie, you know it's best if you to sit up on the bed and start to take some walks..."
- My low threshold for
when not my ownstupidity.
- I am severely mathematically challenged. Is it in any ones best interest to have a nurse who's using her fingers to determine your dosage, or pulse? (Correct answer: No. [with extra credit given for: Oh, hell fucking no.])
All of the sudden it feels like it's gonna be a long ass summer...