I don't wake up lookin' to
...There I am, just a girl in the world drivin' my big ass American made, gas guzzlin', four-wheel drive ride. I had just dropped my Mom off at the door and was on a quest for a parking space. Windows were down, sun was shining, I was duet-ing with the country song that I had cranked waaaay too high to be considered socially acceptable for a girl of my advanced years. Short version: (
|Festive boot. (Should I bedazzle it?)|
I am a back-er in-er when I park. While I can't put my hand on a bible and swear that I always back into a space and that I never front in in a court of law without causing my pants to spontaneously combust into flames, anyone who knows me would be pretty hard pressed to come up with a time that I pulled into a space. I know. I'm weird.
...Soooooo. I see that the car that is on the far side of the space I want has not pulled completely into its space and is hanging out by several feet. Now, because I am such a frequent and well practiced back-er up-er I recognize that there is little chance I will be able to get into the space in one shot, and that backing into this space before another car comes down the fairly busy parking lot lane
Of course, two things:
- A ride my size cannot make the maneuver on the first attempt without clippin' either the car in the adjacent row or the vehicle that is thiiiiiis close to bein' in the middle of the lane (henceforth known as *That Ass*).
- The moment I try to back up a car falls in behind me in the lane.
Now, left to my own devices I'd have inch by fuckin' inch, D - R - D - R - D - R'd my whip into that space on general principal if it took me all damn day, I'm that girl. However, I'm not the girl who would have someone else spending their time
As I'm walking by That Ass behind the wheel just sittin' there doin' whatthefuckever dumbasses who can't park properly do when they've accomplished bein' inconsiderate, I
Honestly? (BBGSoapbox Alert!) Our society works best when we adhere to certain social constructs,
That Ass (
aka: someone who shoulda kept their fuckin' mouth shut): Couldn't get it in?
(Immediately and completely pissed the fuck off) BBG: No. ...Had your car been pulled fully into its space it wouldn't have been a problem.
That Ass: You should have said something...
BBG: I didn't know I was in charge of ensuring people knew how to park their cars correctly. ([Incensed and indignantly]
While I had noooooo intention of bein' a bitch. There. I. Was. When people stop bein' asses I'll
Hope you're having a bitch free day, Big Brown Girl World-ers!