Friday, January 23, 2015

~ My Big Fat Abortion Stance

I have never had an abortion.

It was just never for me.  (BBG Disclosure:  I spent my formative years matriculating at Our Lady Of Bad Catholic Kidz.)  It was never something I considered.  Also, in full disclosure I was never a 15 year old, uneducated, and now severely limited in future life options, child, with a bun in the oven, so I was never faced with deciding between this being the statistical trajectory of my life, or considering an abortion so that some rogue sperm didn't map out the rest of my life (and that of my offspring). 
  • Almost 50% of all teen mothers and more than 75% of unmarried teen mothers begin receiving welfare within 5 years of the birth of their first child [Source: k]. 
  • More than 1/4 of teen mothers live in outright poverty while in their 20's & early 30's, compared to only 7% of women who postpone childbearing [Source: e].

I never had an abortion because I never had to consider how I'd tell a hungry toddler why s/he was going to bed hungry.

I never had an abortion because I never had a doctor inform me I was carrying a fetus with some horrific physical condition that would make its life unsustainable, or full of pain and invasive treatments and fixes that would ultimately serve to prolong life rather than provide any measure of a 'quality' life.  Nor have I been faced with the gut wrenching decision that in order to preserve my life and/or health an abortion was the medical solution.

I never had an abortion because I never needed one to save my life, or to keep another life from being wrought with procedures and an existence I'd never want to my worst enemy to have to endure.  

Never have I known I was too immature to do right by and raise a child and found myself knocked up.  (Fact:  There is nothing else anyone could say they were too immature to tackle that any reasonable person would push them into doing.  But parenthood?  That's the one we're fuckin' ok with?)  Never have I been at my maxim capacity for children I can manage and retain a semblance of sanity and been faced with adding another that I know will create a personally untenable sum.  Never have I not had the financial resources or familial (and friends-y based) support to make a child an unfeasible option.

I have never had an abortion because I have never been part of the 82% of women who have abortions who cite; not being mature enough to have a baby, not being able to afford to have a child, are not ready for another child /have completed childbearing, or didn't wish to be single mothers


I have never had an abortion.  But not because I'm opposed to them.  Because I've never been in a position where I felt like I needed one.  I've never been in in a place where opting not to have a child was what I knew was the best decision I could make at the time, and given circumstances at play. 

All of the reasons why I've never had an abortion are exactly the reasons I'm pro-choice. 

Well, those and that some other woman's decision on what is the best state of her uterus is none of my damn business.

While my belief system tells me that life begins when life begins, which is to say under my interpretation, at first breath (meaning a fetus/baby is a viable life when it's able to breathe and sustain life, whether on it's own, or as we're able to with the help of modern day science 'n medicine advancements, medically assisted).  But that's my belief system, admittedly formed by hours and years of religion classes, tutelage in among other things this lil' ditty that seems to be pretty biblically clear on when life begins;  (Genesis 2:7)  And the Lord God... breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.   And while I should have every right to manage my body by those beliefs I should never have the right to make a decision on how another woman, walking a different life path than my experience, with her own set of beliefs and approach to life, must run her body. 

Dear Anti-Choicers,
Save it.  I'm not here to change your minds.  In fact, that's kinda the fucking point.  No one should have to change their minds on this issue.  People, yep, women included, are allowed to hold views that are divergent--  be it to just you or millions, and as long as it doesn't prevent you from living the way your mind (heart, conscience, religious, ethical, moral compass, whateverthehell helps guide ya) tells you to do.  I swear this is true.  Another truth?  A rational response to such a dichotomy is you doin' you and taking care of your own business.  Not,  in lieu of mind changing, legislatively regulating away any option other than the one you'd pick.  In fact, this is what most people do when others engage in practices and/or beliefs that differ from their own, that again have nothing to do with them.  How is anything other than 'You're in charge of you/I'm in charge of me' not a rule of acceptable thumb for how this is approached?   As you see that as being *unreasonable* there really is no starting point to build to any sort of agreement.  So, really.  Save it.

This week is the 42nd anniversary of Roe v. Wade.  It marks an anniversary of 42 years worth of women who have not died from sketchy back alley and DIY abortions.  (Reminder:  The alternative to access to legal and medically sound abortion isn't, has never been and will never be the end of abortive measures.)   Prior to 1973 it's estimated that 5,000 American women died annually due to lack of safe (licensed medical professional/actual hospital or clinic environment) abortion healthcare services.  Which to give a lil' perspective it is roughly about 1/2 of the number of Americans who will die from skin cancer this year.  Or in girl specific terms, about half the number of women who will succumb to uterine cancer in '15.  While no one celebrates an abortion, I celebrate anything that prevents women from dying.  I celebrate anything that prevents children from being in households that aren't loving and safe, where they aren't wanted, valued and treasured.  I celebrate a woman's right to, like a man, be self governing when it comes to their medical decisions and what does or doesn't happen to and within their bodies.   

Related Abortion-esque BBGWorld Posts:

* The elephant in the blog?  Adoption.  Yes, of course adoption is an option.  Personally I think its a very wonderful and loving option.  I just also happen to think it's not an option I want to see dictated to any woman.   #HerBodyHerRules

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