Thursday, April 29, 2010

~East Bound And Down, Kinda

Ol' smokey's got his ears on, he's hot on your trail, he ain't gonna rest till you're in jail. So you've got to dodge him, you've gotta duck him, you gotta keep that diesel trukin', just put that hammer down and give 'em hell.... One of my favorite lines in the song. Technically, I'm headin' West, but this is one of my mainstay roadtripin' songs.

Yep, me big ass SUV haulin' down the highway, sunroof open, Jerry Reed blastin' and me singing at the top of my lungs. Good times. I mean, unless you're in the passenger seat, then, it's probably a lil' less fun and I would recommend those ear plug-y things.

I should come back with a good story or two.

Catch ya on the flip side.


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

~Do You Feel Lucky?

I maybe complain a lot in the BigBrownGirlWorld. So here are some things I like. A few of my favorite movie quotes. These are world class, grade A, #1, in my opinion.

These my friends, are the classics! The following clips contain some of the most sage advise and sound mantras by which to live your life ever captured on film.

Now, without further adieu and in no particular order...

(Psssst...If you're at work, turn your speakers down now. Trust me.)


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

~Are You Fuckin' Kidding Me?

Listen, whatever the fuck you believe in that isn't hurting someone else or keeping them from their pursuit of happiness, I could really give a fuck about. Bully for you. I believe what I believe, and I sure as shit wouldn't want anyone telling me what to do or how to think, so I'm not gonna sit here and tell you what to think or do. Ok? Got that? Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. And to a large degree, I believe that those differences are what makes the world go round. To each their own, but...

Let's face it, the only places where there's a lotta hinky shit going down are places where one party or ruling class believes that their way is the only, one true way. They simply can't allow the possibility of opposing views. A la the Taliban. A very, my way or the highway kinda mentality and tradition.

Whereas, evolved places with a minimum of a two party system, places were we like to practice concepts like cooperation and compromise, like...ya know, America should be immune to such fanatic style rhetoric, right? People should be able to hold differing views and still be respectful and civil.

Yep. Should be.

But apparently we are now a nation where God is openly and unashamedly implored to strike down our sitting Commander In Chief, over political differences.

Oh, how do I know? Well, I spied on FB that one of my friends has joined this group:

"Dear Lord, this year you took my favorite actor Patrick Swazye you took my favorite actress Farah Fawcett you took my favorite singer Michael Jackson I just wanted to let you know my favorite President is Barack Obama. Amen."
(...hey, P.S. nice fuckin' punctuation group put-er together-er!!)

Are you fuckin' kidding me?

Because if I understand this correctly, you're soooooooooooooooo patriotic and proud to be an American that instead of living by the whole democracy premise our nation was founded on-- about voters across the union coming together casting votes and then that person managing our nation until he reaches his (her, perhaps someday) term limit, or if he's voted out, whether you voted for him or not, that you think it's either a good idea or a funny idea that our nations President be struck dead.


When exactly did the concept of having a President die become a topic up for jocularity? (dripping in facetiousness) I mean, what could be funnier?!? Ford's Theater? Now there was a laugh riot! Dealy Plaza?!? Another hoot of a moment!

As an American, who was raised to with respect for the person who holds that office, not because I voted for him, but because he sits in the seat, finger on the big red button et al. I find the sentiment of the above mentioned group offensive, as a person who belives there is a God, and as an American, pathetically unpatriotic.

If you don't like who's in office you can do something about that, that doesn't require hoping for the death of our nation's leader. It's called (wait for it) It's this cool lil' system our forefathers worked up allowing alleged grownups in the nation to decide who runs the show. When your person wins, please be happy. When your person loses, please don't act like a 3 year old who's unhappy that someone else is using your favorite crayon and wish death on them.

News Flash: We are American's first and foremost, not Republicans and Democrats (or Independents, etc.) first. So, howz about we act a lil' more Americanish and less Talabany? Rodney King was right, "Can't we all just get along?" ...Now you know if Rodney King's words are applicable words of wisdom, we've got some trouble in River City, kids. I propose a starting point as being, not calling for a fatwa on our own President.

-Proud American & Big Brown Girl


Monday, April 19, 2010

~Happy Birthday LB2'd

It's one of my very besties and mother of my godkids birthday.

We met a long ass time ago. She was the new girl at work. Me? I don't have much patience for training new people. And at the time, people were coming and going so fast, it didn't seem like a great idea to get too invested in a new worker until they proved they had staying power.

...And then I overheard her mention that her Dad was a police officer.

Well, being a copkid myself, that was all I needed to hear for her to be put under my wing at work. Under my wing at work, became, hanging out after work. Hanging out after work became bringing stickers and beer and stopping an attitude as she and her sister came to words over a curl at her wedding. Managing the curl incident became alien suckers, bubbles, lying and turning off Little House on the Prairie when it got on her nerves and making sure the electronic doors didn't knock her over as we walked in prep of delivery. That was almost 13 years ago.

A lot has transpired since we've known each other. A lot of laughs and a few tears. Quickly followed by more laughter, because we are both a little sick and twisted. I've been fortunate enough to be by her side to see another life come into the world, my lil' mini me godkid. I was there through divorce. And even now to see her happily remarried with a wonderful home life and family and successful career.

...Not too shabby for nearly 20 years ago tossin' out what your Dad did for a living.

LB2'd, I can't imagine what my life would look like without ya. Thankfully I know I'll never have to. You are one of the very best eggs I know, so kind, smart, funny and caring. And the sister I picked.

I hope your day is spectacular-- you deserve it! See you soon toots.


~Timing is Everything

Sometimes things just come together and work out juuuuuuuust as they should. ...Yeah, sometimes they fuckin' don't. But this time, things are coming together perfectly!

One of my knocked up friends, code name, Jodi Foster is having her baby tomorrow. Sometimes I get a feeling when one of my friends is getting ready to pop. I donno how or why, just a feeling I get. I had a feeling last week. But I was wrong. Bun is still in her oven... But when I mentioned it to her, I also let her know that tomorrow had been the day I had been hoping for. Why? Because tomorrow is 4/20, otherwise known as the smokers holiday, for my lil' pothead peeps. And of all of the people who should be giving birth on that day, it's Jodi Foster.

I just got the good news that she will be induced tonight. Hooray & Congratulations!

Sometimes things work out as they should, and for my own personal amusement. This is one of 'em. And to that, in my best Matthew McConaughey, I say, alright, alright, alright...

...Now, if I can just talk her into naming her baby Cheech...


Sunday, April 18, 2010

~This Week in Botany

Some people have artistic skillz. (Noooooooo, not me!!!) A lil' present via IM. Thanks Mick.

And a lil' thoughtful and kind pick me up that arrived on my doorstep. Thank you Donna.

And since I'm all about the blooms, a few from outside. Thank you Mother Nature.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

~Pilgrimage to Mecca

Sooooooo Mom took me to Ikea.

Now two things you should know about me:

1) I love, LOVE to look at catalogs. Even about stuff I don't even give a wiggly rats ass about. I, for some completely unknown reason receive some catalogue called Mountain Gear. YEAH?!? Me! Talk about untargeted marketing and a massive waste of said companies' printing and mailing budget...whew, doggy. But I look at every page of that damn catalogue when it arrives. I can not help it. Lillian Vernon, Pottery Barn, you name it I love it. I'm not a buyer, just a lookie Lou.

And B) I HATE shopping. Haaaaaaaate it. I only am willing to venture out to a retail establishment during the slowest times possible and/or available to me during the time frame in which I must do shopping. I practically refuse to try anything on. (It seems like a colossal hassle in my mind for some reason. Not liking, fitting, whatever, I have nooooo problem making another trip to return it, but dressing room? Taking perfectly good clothes I've already put the effort into putting on that day off? Hellz to da no, kidz. If I could purchase all goods online, I probably would. But I'm too tactile. That's what holds me back. Oh yeah, and sometimes lack of pre thought to not wait until the last possible fucking moment. Shopping can make me cranky. I'm a buyer, not a shopper. Can you see the difference?

(Sidenote to LEM & Ree: I am cracking up thinking of the time we were shopping and you made the executive decision that an Icee or a pretzel might alleviate my crankiness. And also, that "but I was popular, I was a cheerleader!?!" girl we ran into. [yep, soooo fuckin' popular that I couldn't place her then and still can't remember her name now] ...Gooooood times.)

So when Mom proposed taking a sojourn to the closest Ikea, almost 2 hours away, it's possible that I may have made a face. The face that if you know me, you know says, "I am highly skeptical of this plan, but I'm open to trying to be sold on it". Mom then recounted the wonderful purchases she had made on her inital journey to all that is good in retail. And I was in.

Let me tell you, I had a better than expected day.

First of all Ikea, was, well, kinda awesome. Those Swed's know how to make some shit. There were all kinds of interesting offerings. I saw a lot of things that I liked. I may have to make some sorta plan to go back as there is some $25.00 lamp that I can't seem to get off of my mind. At the time I couldn't figure out where I could use it. (Damn it!!)

I do think they should limit the kids allowed in to the store to those securely locked into car seats. But I think there are scads of places that should have adult only swim times/days. Not because I dislike children, although I do dislike poorly behaved kids, but that's mostly some adult who isn't doing their jobs fault. Really, I just don't wanna be the grown ass girl who's pushin' a 7 year old aside to see what I want to see, but I digress. Other than kids (and some ill behaved adults) darting in front of me, or stopping in front of me, in the middle of the fuckin' isle, I enjoyed myself.

We even had lunch while we were there. I ate some amazingly good green stuff. I still am unsure as to what it was, but I know this, it was good. And green usually means healthy, so double good whammy.

Along our trek, we spied Ohio's Touchdown Jesus. ...Why there aren't more cars lined up on the side of the highway with three people jumping out to make an O, I and O, to his holy H, I'll never know. It's a perfect photo op for any Buckeye.

A lovely lil' roadtrip and shopping excursion with Mom. ...Although, she wouldn't make a truck honk it's horn and as you all know, I feel it's not a roadtrip until you've made a trucker honk his horn.

So, if you haven't been to Mecca, I say go. Take your Mom. Leave the kiddies at home. Eat the green stuff. Buy the fuckin' light. And make a trucker honk his horn.

Peace out my BBGW peeps.

UPDATE:  And Jesus burned...(   June '10


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

~Don't Sneak Up On Me

A few weeks ago, Nana gave me a knife Papa had made. We're talkin' ...that's not a knife, THIS is a knife... stuff here. I'd never seen it before, but evidently, Papa had made it waaaaay back in the day.

Is it wrong that one of my first thoughts when I brought it home was, "well, if I have to make a silent kill in here, I'm all set"?? Yeah, my mind went immediately to multiple perps being in my home and me having to take care of one without the pesky noise of a round being popped off. ...Ya don't want the others gettin' the jump on ya, ya know?... For the record, Dad doesn't think it's wrong. He thinks that's just prudent planning. Of course, Dad used to have a sticker that said: (That was no joke. It was a promise.)

And I now also have three shotguns and a riffle that belonged to Papa. I think the term you're looking for is, loaded for bear.


Knock first.


Sunday, April 4, 2010

~Happy 2x

Happy Birthday to my Mom!!

And Happy Easter. ...Or as I like to say: Bock-Bock Easter Bunny!!

For a myriad of reasons, I've been going through a lot of ol' school pictures lately. I stumbled up on this lil' (clears throat) gem:

Easter '74. Apparently, I had an aversion to having my hair bushed that day. Later there are shots of me at Easter Dinner...still with that crazy, unkempt head of hair. Check out my sweeeeet Bop 'Em, Sock 'Em I got that year! In solidarity with my inner child, I'm not brushing my hair today!!!


Thursday, April 1, 2010

~Surprise & Recommendaton

Imagine my surprise, on a day where the temperature hit 70, months after Santa's appearance, to toss my trash out for the garbageman, to see a Christmas tree put out by my neighbor. A real Christmas tree.

Really kooky neighbor?!? Alrighty then.

I was also offered sperm this week outta the blue by a pal I've known since I was a teen. Also kooky. And kinda nice in some sorta oddish way. I don't know how serious the offer was, but thoughtful none the less. Did anyone offer you sperm this week?!?

..Just goes to show ya, there's never lack of random in BigBrownGirlWorld...

File under:
If you know what's good for ya, you will try these...

Kick ass. In my opinion. Mom turned me on to them (reason #723 why Mom is cooler than me). And now I can't get enough. Her selling point was that a package was only 90 calories. Which only really matters if you don't have 2 (or more) of 'em during the course of a day. Yes. I'm building the foundation of my pyramid with Pringle sticks. Good, good Pringle sticks. Mmmmmmmmm.

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