Monday, January 7, 2013

~You Say You Want A Resolution

(it's blog-y sing-a-long time!!) 

...Well ya know we all wanna change the world. 

I'm sure the Beatles will have noooo problem with that.

Usually I'm staunchly anti-New Years resolutions. I can't even remember the last time I answered, 'what's your resolution?', with anything other than a smartassed; "To not make a resolution."

I generally think, why fuckin' bother? Statistically 1 out of 4 people break their resolution by January 7th. Not that I'm much of a mathematician, or gambler (Kenny Rogers shout out!) but I am a pretty big believer in accepting that with a very few exceptions, I'm the rule-- not the exception, and that there's plenty o' failure and disappointment to go around, why invite extra to my life?

But for whatever reason this year I've decided to give this whole resolution thang a whirl.

I've come up with a few I think I may be able to reasonably accomplish.

I, BBG, being of soundish mind and body do hereby resolve:

- To put new batteries in the remote when it starts to get slow and perform sketchily, instead of spending weeks literally cursing my remote until the batteries actually stop working.

- To have more random conversations with strangers.

- To be more lotion loyal. Not to any particular brand, but to more routinely use it. I don't know what my problem with moisturising is, but especially when it's not sundress/flop season summer I could really benefit from a lil' ol' fashioned James Gumb-ing.

- To continue to avoid all shows containing the words; Mob/Mafia, Housewives, Dancing, Boo-Boo, Judge, Bachelor/ette, Toddlers, and/or Moms.

- To stop feeling compelled to make at least one duck beak per tube of Pringles. (I'm not sayin' I won't do it. I'm just sayin' I won't feel like I have to in order to bring some sorta Pringle-y manifest destiny to fruition.)

- To master a yo-yo trick. Probably walkin' the dog.

- To continue to refuse to comply with Facebook status updates requesting me to copy and paste anything ...even if only for an hour ...even if it would show to all of Facebookdom that I cared enough about XYZ to do it ...even when taunted with someone implying I'm the devil for being one of those people who won't do it.

- To give up with my date/number symmetry fascination. (Although,I will still think fondly of friends who married on 08/08/08.)

- To eat more cotton candy, as I fell woefully short of last years recommended allotment.

- To, as I'm able, to do without being arrested eliminate things that piss me off. (So far I've already cut out a tag from a hoodie [P.Fucking. S. --that I've had for yeeeeears] that was super itchy and has been the direct cause of entirely too many bitter moments in my life. Suck it tag!)

- To engage in more drinking, particularly Macaulay Calkin drinking. I bet I didn't have more than 3 times last year that found me havin' a boozy treat at home alone. I'm not setting my sights on getting a guest shot on Intervention or anything, but I think a little more 'better living through chemistry' might be in order.

- To master [ ]'s. I'm a fairly good typist. But [ ]'s always cause me to turn the fuckin' light on stop and look.

Lastly, I resolve to come clean about how I fair at the end of the year. 

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