Tuesday, February 23, 2016

~ My Life Advice

Don't compare yourself.  You can admire, even steal behaviors 'n attitudes you respect in others, but remember the only fair comparison you can ever accurately make is between Today You and Yesterday You.

Live 15% with an eye towards the future.
15% with an eye towards the past.
70% in the fuckin' moment.

When you have an opportunity to be kind, generous and magnanimous do so.  Always.  But when you have to be a bitch/bastard because you've been left no choice?  Do that too.  Don't be a punk, but don't let others make you theirs either.  (Pro-tip:  Know the difference.)

Once you do something, anything, you're responsible for having done it.  Period.  Once it's done know that you do not get to determine the reaction to it too.

Dust pans are for suckers.  If you're already cleaning flat floors that meet with a carpeted area sweep the crud near the joining point, get out the vacuum do the carpet and just suck that crud up.  Two tasks complete and you didn't have to fight that line of crud that is inevitable when attemptin' to sweep it into the dust pan. 

(Bonus vacuum-y advice:  If you have carpet on two levels of your abode have 2 vacuums.  Never have to lug your
suck machine to the other story again.  #GameChanger)

Assess 'yo self.  Daily look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you're bein' the kind of human you want to be.  Be honest.  (Adjust as needed.)

Should you do it?  Is it illegal/immoral/unethical?  Is death, maiming or a trip to the ER (of yourself and/or others) a possibility (or probability)?  If you heard a story about someone else doin' it would you lose respect for them?   If the answer is no then give that shit a whirl. 

Remember you're never too old to blow bubbles, eat cotton candy or watch cartoons.  Be suspicious of anyone who says otherwise.

Never forget what life was like when you worked some of your first shit jobs.  Never treat anyone doing so now like jerks treated you then.

When the fancy strikes ya have dessert for breakfast.

Don't let anyone else define who you are.  When it comes to you, you are the author of that definition.  With that said, people are free to make judgements of you based on what you show them.  Ones perception is their reality.  (Pro-tip:  If one person asserts you're XYZ that you don't dig?  Write it off.  If scads of people, particularly those who you know have your best interests at heart make the same claim?  You owe it to yourself to take a honest second look.  It's the life-y equivalent of double checking the blind spot on your vehicle.)

Donate blood.  Register to be a bone marrow donor.  Check the box that says you're an organ donor.  Don't just be the kind of person who says they'd save someone's life if they had the chance, actually be that person.

Pay attention to sayin' vs. doin'.  In yourself, and in others. 

Know that the appropriate amount of time you should spend trying to change someone other than you is:  3 Minutes.  After that either you actually have a poor idea haven't sold it in a compelling way, or they're too proud, stupid or stubborn (they've told ya who they are;  listen) to even for a moment consider your way of thinkin'.  By minute four you are absofuckinglootly wasting your time.     

Learn that an apology doesn't contain an 'if'.  (...if I xyz'd ya I apologize...)  An apology is an acknowledgement that you did in fact commit a transgression.  If you don't mean an apology don't give it.  Yes, that might make ya a jerk, but at least it doesn't add liar on top of it.  (Also, please note that to actually fulfill an apology you can't continue to do that fuckin' same thing.  That makes ya a jerk, liar and asshole.)

When you see children wave at you always wave back. 

Remember that respect, character and integrity are more valuable commodities than swagger, cool and popularity.

Sleep nakid.  Those few hours are the only time you can be completely unencumbered (without being arrested), take advantage.

Say 'no' more often.  No isn't a dirty word, it's simply one we use to set the appropriate expectation.  And there's little worse than having to do something that you committed to that ya never wanted to do in the first damn place.  (Side benefit:  When you say 'yes' people will know you sincerely mean it.)

Remember you are going to die.  Weigh options of how you choose to spend your time and invest your energy in against that fact.  Choose wisely.  Nobody ever complained that they spent too little time doin' chores, or pining for someone who didn't pine for you back, et al, on their deathbed. 

Freely acknowledge that shitty situations are shit-tay.  Also, that they create an opportunity for you to prove your might.  The phoenix doesn't rise from fluffy marshmallows 'n rainbows.  It rises from the scorched ass ashes.  You can too. 

(Extra shitty situation fact:  If you find yourself repeatedly in similar shitty situations?  At some point you have to recognize the common denominator is [drumroll] you.  There's plenty of shit to deal with when adulting;  Don't invite additional shit.)

Laugh at yourself.  Often. 

Laugh at others.  Sometimes.  (Like, when it doesn't make ya a complete dick.)

Watch the news.  Yes, obviously it's important to be well-rounded and cognizant of daily and worldly ta-doin's, but it always gives you something to talk with people about.  When you're even minorly knowledgeable about an area someone else is interested in it breeds common ground, which is always an advantage when dealing with people.  Both in business and personally the ability to toss out a tid-bit important to them can not be over evaluated.

Cleaning.  Decide that for the next 15 minutes you're gonna clean.  Short and consistent bursts of cleaning means you never have a messy place and that you never have to do anything stupid like devoting a whole day to cleaning.

Practice left-right-left driving.  Just before the light changes and you start across an intersection look left (your drivers side), right (passenger side) and left again.  You look to your side twice for the same reason parents put their air mask on before they start putting it on kids on a plane-- you can't help anyone else if you're dead. 

Let people fuckin' be.  If how they choose to live their life has no demonstratively negative impact on your life, live and let live.

When new things present themselves try 'em.  Whether it be foods, experiences or people.

DWYSYWD.  Do what you say you will do.  If you can't, won't, don't wanna do it don't say you will.  This act alone will keep you from a million forms of drama trauma.

Put yourself figuratively in the shoes of others.  Explore how your feelings and viewpoints change when you see people and situations from vantage points other than your own. 

Recognize that that's 'how we've always done it', or 'that's how I was raised', or 'tradition' are often pretty fucked up reasons to continue doin' stuff.  Decide to do, or hold on to things, based on their merit, appropriateness, or validity under real-time conditions 'n circumstances.  Ask yourself if X was presented as a new concept today does it (without its history) seem reasonable and sound?

Don't speak of yourself in the third person unless you actually want people to think you're a douchebag.

Look for the silver lining.  If you can't see it, try to be it.

Don't conflate not staring at someone with not making eye contact with them.  There's a dignity exchange in eye contact.  It's a literal acknowledgement that you see them.  Which sounds stupid (of course you see them, otherwise ya'd be bumpin' into and trippin' over folks all the damn time) until you consider how many people, homeless folks, peeps with visible handicaps and/or deficiencies, etc., are made to feel invisible, like their humanity isn't even recognizable.  Even if you can't magically better their circumstances, don't worsen it by pretending they don't even exist.  Or as it was ingrained in us as Our Lady Of Badass Catholic Kidz;  You never know which one is Jesus.  Act accordingly.    

When another driver lets you in acknowledge that they didn't have to do that, and that it was kind of them to do so.  It's called a thank you wave.  Without it know that somewhere there is a story being told about you and you are aptly being described as an asshole. 

Be no harder on others than you are with yourself.  Conversely, be as kind to yourself as you would be to others.

Have a pet.

Have empathy.  Often the only thing that separates you from the them you're tempted to deride is that you weren't born into those exact circumstances.

Make it a practice to be grateful.  The more you practice it the more you notice how very, very much you have to be grateful for. 



former employee said...

Totally agree with the sleeping in the nude ...sorry if TMI lol.

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