Showing posts with label Pink Vehicles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pink Vehicles. Show all posts

Friday, December 30, 2011

~Fuck You, 2011

Here we are again, tick-tocking down the last few hours and minutes of another year that is about to officially become history.  And that makes it officially time to say; Fuck You '11

I don't want to seem disrespectful of the year.  Plenty of nice and lovely stuff happened this year.  Trust me, I am fully aware every day how much I have to be thankful for.  The blessings (big and small) in my life are, frankly, more than I deserve.  But there have also been a plethora of super shitastic things, that I for one, could have done without, thank you very much.  

Each year I like to do a lil' mental round up of what the year brought me as I prep for the new things a new year will bestow upon me.  Here, for the official BBG record are some of the high and low lights of 2011:

~Ing's.  This has been the year of the 'ing(s)'.  From jeggings, to planking (which begat owling, that begat  horsemaningTebowing and batmaning;)

~Thanks to AnonD, I learned how to make the worlds best kick ass chocolate chip cookies.  (Recipe)  Because I helped, I earned a new title, 'The Primary Whisker'.  Opps!  Am I cracking a code?  If we're bein' honest, it probably shoulda been the primary eater.

~A local 'feel good' story unfolded (and then quickly disintegrated) with the discovery of the golden voice, Ted Williams who found momentary national fame for morphing from an addiction riddled homeless beggar to the voice of a Kraft Mac and Cheese spot aired during the Super Bowl.  ...And then just as quickly from the voice of creamy cheezy goodness to an addiction riddled, 'what ever happened to' cautionary tale?

~In other local ta-doin's, this is the year I had to hear the news announce that some schools would be closed not for snow, (ice, heat, fog, wind chill too low <-- all of which have happened in my lifetime), no, for wild animals roaming.  Lions, tigers and bears, free ranging due to a unstable individual making bad choices.  (56 exotic animals on the loose)

~I was rreminded how many people love me, in big ways and small. And all I can say is, WOW!   And, of course, THANK YOU.  And I know that I am a colossal pain in the ass.

~2011 opened my palate to several new things:  1st Fruity Pebbles.  (Love them!)  Nonpareils.  (Hated 'em.)  Shamrock shake.  (Severely disappointed by Ronald's offering.)  Wheatgrass.  (Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  Sweeter than expected.)  Quinoa.  (Really surprisingly liked it.)  Silk milk.  (Thumbs down.)  Hostess Pudding Pie (I thought it would be flaky goodness.  It was not.)  Pomegranate juice.  (It tasted like if a grape and a blueberry had a baby.)  Whole wheat pasta.  (I'd rather eat actual dried and hardened glue strips.)  And Chik 'N.  (While not bad, soy based connective tissue is kinda creepy.)

(We can make soy based mock connective tissue,
but still no wayback machine?!?)

~Yet again, I remain flabbergasted and saddened that science and technology haven't been able to invent a 'wayback machine'. 

~Got my heart brrrrrrrrroken.

~Got my revenge and made a new friend.

~Engaged in a lotta schadenfreude. Mainly at the expense of one of Virginia's newest residents. The score since he's been there? One earthquake. One hurricane. One super early ass and quite unusual winter storm warning in October. Free range zebras roaming the streets. ...It ain't a plague of locust, but none of that seems like a good sign.  It's called karma, asshole. Enjoy it. I sure as fuck am.   Good luck, Virginia.

~I heard 9,9,9, more frequently than a week long Hitlerathon on the History Channel.  Farewell, pizza man Herman Cain. 

~The BBGWorld hit 10,000 visitors.

~Finally, 2011 offered an option for when you can't decided if candy or booze is the answer.  Or perhaps when you're ready to make the step of gettin' lit at your cubicle.  That's right, kidz, vodka gummies.

(Health nuts should probably use vitamin gummies.)

~My first gray eyebrow hair. 

Dear 1 Gray Eyebrow Hair~
I accept that you are here as a reminder that I'm gettin' old (& that I'm STILL ALIVE). In theory I am happy to let you live and share my face with you. Frankly, I find your single whiteness randomly interesting, however you seem to insist on bein' all helter skelter and incapable of not pokin' out and pointing skyward, and I'm not ok with bein' Andy Rooney. *Pluck!!*

~We became the home of World's Biggest Meatball (Finally.  Last years BBG eyewitness account of the near miss)

~Dodged the rapture twice this year (May 21st and October 21st).  So thank you Harold Camping and your predictions of the end of days for teaching me I just might be invincible.  Or that I am part of the 'left behind' (at least I'm in good company, I mean, you're here too.)

~Nana became tech savvy.  Ok, that might be an overstatement of the situation.  Nana has made some semblance of peace with the laptop.  Watching a DVD is out (it took all of 3 minutes and one ejection and putting it back in to determine that this wasn't happenin'), but she can Google, email and read her local paper. 

~NASA provided me with an escape hatch from some of the assholes roaming this place.  Helloooooooo Kepler22b!

~Uncle John tried to kill me.

~This is the year someone tried to tell me how to run my blog.  (...Guess what's never gonna happen?  Bueller?...)

~michigan won.

~We learned the names Casey Anthony, Rebecca Black and Jerry Sandusky. 

~I learned of the magical existence of natatoriums.

~For the first time ever I lost a nail.  Completely down to the bed.  (In happy nail news:  Thankfully a new one replaced it.)

~Continued to be stalked and amazed by the existence and seemingly popularity of by pink rides:

(Why would a person do this?)

~Ponytail'd men, for the 3rd year in a row continued to cross my path:
    (Engaging in some St. Pat's ponytail pullin')

~Got some new lives to corrupt in Eden, Sammy and Asher.  Congrats to Mrs. Steven Tyler kissed my ass (<-- really, I've seen pictures) and her hubby K1.  Two kids have never been so wanted, or will be so cherished.  And haaaaappy 1st boy congrats to Lupe & Jorge.  Those are some lucky ass kids.

~Gone too soon...

A pioneer in how women deal with breast cancer.  Before Betty Ford they were words that were whispered.  After Betty Ford it became something that was fought.  Betty Ford was also the catalyst behind Amy Winehouse's biggest hit and getting many of a celeb clean and sober.  

Heavy D. 

...Now what will we do?  RIP Heavy D.

Smokin' Joe Frazier. 

I once met 1/2 of the Thrilla in Manila duo (Ali being the other, for you non sweet science followin' peeps) at some black tie fundraiser shin dig.  It was well after his boxing days, more the heyday of his BBQ days.  He seemed nice.  I mean, as long as I smiled, giggled and nodded in agreement, at least.  Honestly, I never understood a word he said.  The "discussion" made a strong case for headgear in the ring.

We lost Charles Napier this year.  A name you might not recognize, but Silence of the Lamb's fans will never forget.

And Oprah, who while still alive did leave the airwaves this year.

As I put in a Facebook update:  Well Oprah, you did many things over the past 25 years...built a school, got Tom Cruise to jump on a sofa, gave away some cars, introduced the world to a Phil and an Oz, birthed book clubs, carried fat in a wagon, but ya never could get Nana to stop callin' you Ofrah.   

So good bye year.  

Baby New Year, I'm ready for all of your 2012 goodness, bring it.

Dear 2011,
I'm out.

Haaaaaappy New Year!!


Monday, August 16, 2010

~Whaaaaaat Is Happening?!?

I found myself once again in proximity to another strangely pink vehicle.

Who are these pink car people?

And why are they stalking me?


Thursday, July 29, 2010

~Tuesday: It Was A Good Day...

...'Cause I didn't even have to use my A.K. I got to say it was a good day...

Yep. Just so you don't think my entire world is country, a lil' Ice Cube random reference. But maybe not so random.

Tuesday was the day all got worked out with my godkids. Thankfully, I will not have to (at least today) put into play, "scenario A", which included; latex gloves, a wood chipper and those lil' hazmat-y oompa loopa suits. Yeah. You think I'm kiddin'. Several months ago, I was chatting with Nana & Papa about that kooky DNA testing that will trace your roots back to Adam and Eve, apparently, and I blurted out, "I'm not doin' that". When asked why I told them because, "I don't know when I'm gonna have to commit a crime". Just 'cause I haven't yet, doesn't mean the wrong person isn't gonna cross me some day and I'm going to have to kill their ass, ya know? Everyone poo-poo'd me, but Papa, who I miss sooooo much, gave me a knowing wink.

All is 97% locked up with that situation and the kids seem over the moon at the result, as am I.

It was odd seeing the offending party at the courthouse. (My 1st courthouse experience!) I, obviously resisted the urge to punch or spit on him, but I couldn't help doin' some other stuff.

Funnily enough, the lady who signs ya in, shortly after we arrived, and I had a wee chat. I, randomly toss out a, "I love your suit" as she returned to her pod. This caused a meeting of the girl admiration club and she said that she loved my dress. (Thanks Double D for selecting it!) As we chatted, along with LB2's sister TL, she made some unsolicited observations about me. She said she noticed right as I stepped off the elevator that I was the confident sort and that I was the protector. I don't know how true the first is, always, or ever, but it was funny how where most peeps see a Charlotte dress (Sex In The City reference, boys. Your wife/girlfriend/sister will clue you in.), strappy sandals and a smile, that gal spied my inner mama bear.

I know from my rantings about things that come close to making my head explode, a la my recent soapbox about driving and other things, it may seem like I'm easy to anger, but really that's all just minor hoosafudge that 10 minutes later I've probably forgotten about. It takes some work on someone else's part to really tick me off, when it comes to something with me.

But fuck with someone I love and I will get very asshole-y, very quickly and very likely forever. Just like one of Grizzly Adam's furry friends.

It was because of this that when the offending party traversed my path I couldn't back up to give him any extra room to pass by. He looked like the sorry for an excuse of a man that he is and I eyeballed him as he walked by. He tried to give me a half smile that quickly went away. Making my godkids unhappy and causing them troubles is noooooo way to make nice with me hoss. He did just what you're supposed to do when in the presence of a mama bear, he lowered his gaze and skulked away. Fuckin' douchebag asshole.

Post proceedings were fantastic as we returned home to inform the kidz of the outcome. They were overjoyed and there were a couple of happy tears in the room. And a sly celebratory cocktail enjoyed by the grownups. Followed by a quick lunch with LB2, her hubby, the kids, her sister, TL and their parents, where I had my very first ever corn dog, thanks godkid J.

At lunch my MiniMe goddaughter challenged me to a game of hangman. Unfortunately for her, I am really, really bad at hangman. When in the far the too fuck long it took, I finally cracked the puzzle the answer was, "I Love Aunt BBG". And she managed to win a couple of prizes outta one of those claw games from the change from her grandma and TL's purses, one of them being this fine blue bear she gave me that I promptly named after her. I thought it was right as she named her "sockamonkey" after me.

(A.Bear and Uncle John)

As we returned from lunch, with all three kiddies in my ride, I heard, "uh...Aunt BBG, I'm gonna lose my ice cream", as I glance into the side mirror in time to see godson J's double dip cone being held by a small hand out of the window as it careened on to the asphalt below. And of course, dripped down the back passenger door. I was all, "well, accidents happen, I'm sorry you lost your ice cream, when we get home get some water and splash it until it dissolves away". No biggie. I mean, pretty much as long as we're all still alive, I consider a whole lotta stuff no biggie. Once they arrived home LB2's hubby insisted that godson J grab a bucket and some soap to fix the problem, so I got a new free car wash! It was 100% unnecessary, but I love that he takes teaching godson J to be a (good) man and fix what you mess seriously. And the fact that he did it in such a loving way pleases me even more. I am thankful he's in godson J's life.

It was a good day. Made even better when I spied this:

Begging the question, am I blessed or jinxed that I seem to be stalked by pink cars?!?


Friday, May 14, 2010

~Maybe Next Time You'll Buy A Mascara

I know crazy ass successful Mary Kay ladies get the pink Caddy. Is this what bad Mary Kay ladies get?!? Behold this lovely pink Omni/Horizon I spied:

And yes, this is exxxxactly why I usually have my camera in my purse.

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